TOP 10 New York City Places to See BEFORE YOU DIE!!!
1.
Mount Sinai Hospital
They have really good doctors there who can help you with whatever is making you die.
2.
Katz's Delicatessen
Their pastrami sandwich is the most life-affirming sandwich I've ever had. Proof: I'm still alive! Don't die! Go here!
3.
Empire State Building
Really tall! King Kong was all over it! But they have very TIGHT SECURITY, so don't even think it's your last place to see, if you get my drift. Consider watching the original King Kong movie instead. I haven't seen it in ages. I bet it's great. Let's do that!
www.esbnyc.com
4.
Hersey Chocolate Store Nightmare
It's in Times Square, so you may die before you even get inside the store. But if you're going for death by chocolate, this is probably the place. Not sure how much you'd have to eat, but hit the sample tray hard and see where it gets you.
www.hersheys.com/visit-us/times-square.aspx
5.
East River
I feel weird doing your homework for you like this but you know, the river has strong currents. Pretty cold. Looks swimmable, but isn't. Please though, there's artisanal donuts everywhere now in NYC. Or you could just call a friend or something. Even message me! I have cable. We can just hang out.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_River
6.
Doughnut Plant
They have every donut and if you're like me, you know you can cure disease by eating specific things. Cashew and Orange Blossom for measles, Coconut Cream for crippling depression, Matcha Green Tea cake for ebola.
www.doughnutplant.com
7.
Duane Reade
This is the local drugstore chain. Conveniently located by the sites of common Citibike accidents, food cart poisonings, random attacks in Union Square, falling tree limbs in Central Park. If you're going to die, you could crawl in there and see what they can do. They have little doctor's offices in the back! I'm serious. I got my flu shot there. Plus, one time, something bit me. They really helped me out.
www.duanereade.com
8.
12 Step Groups at Saint Francis of Assissi
They have a meeting going all the time. Make some friends and take a load off.
www.stfrancisnyc.org/12-step-programs-self-help-support-groups
9.
Manhattan Neighborhood Network
This is NYC's cable access studio. You could come visit, watch New Yorkers put on puppet shows, go into Outer Space or just talk about what's going on with them!
And you know, you could visit Moe and Mary on Fridays at 6pm, be part of the live studio audience.
www.mnn.org
10.
the Sidewalk
Fall down, lie down, sit down then slump over. You can just collapse on any sidewalk, and someone will eventually come deal with you. New Yorkers aren't totally heartless. In fact, a lot of them are very nice and will locate the closest hospital, Duane Reade, or donut shop according to your afflictions.
http://www.nyc.gov/html/dot/html/infrastructure/sidewalkintro.shtml
