HOW TO LOSE 57 LBS WALKING!!! *INVOLVES AMPUTATION
Scientists in a camper somewhere in the USA have discovered that Walking burns as much calories as dousing yourself in gasoline.
Here are some fun tips so you can stop upsetting us with your icky lbs!
Pick a great route
Where haven't you been? A burning building? Bangladesh? Leper colony? Lace up and get there!
Carry something heavy
Hauling heavy weight while you walk increases the calorie burn. Make a statement and drag a crucifix! Or just bags of garbage in front of your estranged husband's new home. You could also plan an exciting abduction of a child, making memories and muscles!
Walk for a Wasting Disease so hard you get that Disease
The jury is still out on which is the skinniest disease, but I got money on IBS. Get walking, handshake a lot, open your mouth, and catch it.
Walk into the Past
Walk backwards in time to the 1800s or earlier, where people were much smaller.
Listen to Rihanna and Miley
Listen loud. Those girls are skinny. No fat music!
Walk into a laboratory
Get the scientists to inject you with radiation. Feel and see the lbs drip away. Drip, drip, drip...Your face may melt too. But I'm sure that was next on your list!
Amputate
Probably your leg for the biggest weight loss. Plus one leg makes walking EVEN MORE calorie burny!
