💩💩Hi guys!
Gosh, you must be so excited to find out what THIS year is gonna do!
Here is probably what will happen this year starting right away!!
1. Pillsbury Facemasks
They bake on your face and then you claw them off in your sleep and eat them.
2. Taco Bell and Pfizer join forces and bring us the Burrito Muy Loco con Zoloft
3. Indifferent Live Organ Donors, cuz who even cares anymore. You want my liver? Take it!!
4. Weatherpeople come up with 30 different words for hot weather. Like Eskimos have for snow?
It's crematory out there, Chicago! Wear a hat! Filled with ice! It's infernocious! Confess your sins! It's a real pubesoaker out there! All week's it's gonna be fireface!
5. Mommy and Me assault weapon class--oh, wait it already exists--> babywearing and carrying
6. We will finally get to Hurricane Blac Chyna in the name cycle.
7. Hand sanitizer will be replaced with ranch dressing.
8. Dolphin attacks. They're sick of us!
9. Vomitoriums become a thing again.
10. Women hold the world hostage with mass free-bleeding!
