ideas for Johnny Depp!

Ideas for Johnny Depp!

If you are Johnny Depp or you know him, these ideas are for you/him!

First of all: Hi!  Are you ok?

I hear you own an island.  Do you think that is making things weird in your head?

You're also a winemaker?

(I should get to the ideas, sorry!)

1. No more wacky mustaches.  Maybe you need a face security guard?  Maybe you need a step-type group to admit you have a problem?  Cut the stache right away.

2. You're old.  I know, because I liked you as a teenager.  Now I'm home on a Saturday, writing this to you.  What I'm saying:  Would it kill you to act with some woman your own age?   Like, Tina Yothers or ALF?

3.  Don't play dead.  In the last ten movies, you were a corpse or something. 

4. If your costume is going to have ruffles or odd collars, you've done the bad thing again.

5. Why don't you just play a jerk?  I mean you own an island and make wine!  Just be you!

6. Can I come to your island?

7. Get really fat!  That would rule.  And then just go sit on your island!!

8. Do a movie where you get attacked!  Remake Zero Dark Thirty!

9. Can you pretend you were American once?  Just hang out in a parking lot with a 40 ouncer already.

10.  I still believe in you, Johnny Depp.

11.  No more hats either!

:D