5 Delicious Summer Wines for a Season of Crippling Despair!

Night Train
A classic vintage enjoyed in gutters across our great nation.  Tried and tested, tastes worse than you feel.

Aqua Velva
Want your last pool party invite ever?  Show up with a bottle of this stuff and do your thing.  You’ll be offering to skim the pool of your accident in no time, mon ami!

The Wine Your Old Classmate Brought Over Before They'd Realized You’d Gone Insane
Crack that open in front of your poor old friend and guzzle.  Let them see where your degree has gotten you.

Patio Wine
Walk by a patio.  If you can reach someone’s glass of wine, then some could argue (like the lawyer they appoint you) that it’s your squatter glass of wine.

Beer
It’s cheaper than wine, and easier to steal from your neighbor’s garage fridge.