Monday, June 29, 2015

Imaginary Friend or Ghost of a Pedophile: Who is your child talking to?



Children have wonderful imaginations that they squander on making up people to play with instead of say, a cure for cancer or startup ideas.  Children also are dangerously connected to the spiritual world.   They haven’t learned to tune that shit out.
 
Here are some ways to figure out who the hell your kid is talking to:

1. What is the name of your child’s imaginary friend?  Gleekbo?  You’re fine.  That is a totally made up name that is really stupid.  But if the friend’s name is Gary or Uncle Jerry?  Warning bells.

2.Check out your child’s drawings.  The sun, upper right corner, a wobbly cat, a really unflattering boxy version of you--okay, your child is no Picasso.  Or he IS, and he’s wasting his time drawing the cat all the time!  Now, if you see a large ghosty figure lurking in the picture that has big hands, that’s a strong indication you’ve got a dead Uncle Jerry on your hands.

3. Does your child have to whisper a lot with his imaginary friend?  Listen in on that.  Get the Whisper 2000 and get informed. 

4. Consider finding your child real friends to play with.  Age appropriate ones who also enjoy playing with flashing, beeping, screeching toys, while people with cancer languish.

5. There’s some other ghost warning stuff:  cold drafts, doors closing, rattle of chains.  But what are you going to do?  Can’t protect your kid from everything.  Good Luck!

1 comment:

  1. Languishing cancer victims ruin everything. One borrowed my sweater and never gave it back!

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