Before you reject this awesome idea of fat burning with RealFire©, like go: oh, I'm afraid of RealFire©, or won't RealFire© hurt? Think about how IMPOSSIBLE it is to burn fat through exercise. Like, crunches? Seriously?
Okay, let's do this!
1. With a Sharpie© or a RealKnife©, mark all fat on your body you want to burn off literally.
2. Move away from all flammable things in your home. like your mattress, your lady magazines, your lap dogs. I'm thinking you do this in the tub or a garage.
3.Get matches.
4. Call 911, tell them someone has been horrifically burned and to hurry on over.
5. Be that someone! Use RealFire© to get the flames really going.
6. Make sure you eat. I should have said that earlier. Just, you're going to smell delicious is all.
7. After you've burned your fat, don't listen to others when they say you look terrible. Don't listen to friends or the paramedics. If your family cries, it's because they are jealous.
8. Tell them you will never do it again.
9. Do it again in six months when your skin heals.
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